Multiple Family Therapy and Relapse
1995 By Lewis N. Foster
As usual, the intensive outpatient program multiple family therapy group started with a devotional period and three volunteers read from Day By Day, As Bill Sees It, and Worthy of Love. All were invited to participate in a relaxation and meditation exercise created by the group leader Lewis Foster. The Villages Exercise kept the education section of the group busy for the remainder of the hour.
The Villages is an enjoyable adult psychology game that improves self-awareness, empathy, conflict resolution, rapport-building, and communication skills. Descriptions of the four villages (Red Village, Green Village, Blue Village and Yellow Village) are red to the group members and each person decides which village they belong to. Each group is directed to choose a mayor for their village and to come up with a village motto. Next, the village mayors lead their village through several exercises designed to get them acquainted and relaxed with each other and the other groups. Finally each village is asked to come up with a village song that each village will sing to the group.*
A short break was taken, and a ninety-minute group session began with a statement by the little son of a patient. "I want my daddy to make me a promise that he want drink anymore."
The leader asked the little boy, and the group, if they could promise that they would never peepee or doodoo in their pajamas again. Everyone laughed and looked at each other.
"When we potty train babies we are actually teaching them relapse prevention skills. I know that everyone who is addicted knows already everything they need to know to avoid using alcohol or other drugs again. What we do in this program is to adapt and fine tune the knowledge and skills each person brings with them," said the group leader.
"Babies are taught by their parents to recognize the internal warning signs that take place when they need to do number one or number two. The first time they recognize the warning sign they run to a parent excitedly announcing that they have to go to the bathroom. We take them immediately and begin teaching them a plan of action to deal with the warning sign, so they want mess in their pajamas."
"This is the same process I use to help your daddy recognize internal warning signs that lead to using alcohol or other drugs. As we know, relapse happens before drug use begins. So when your daddy becomes stressed, has difficulty dealing with emotions, isn't think clearly, sleeping restlessly, or begins spending time with old friends, then you can know that he is about to mess in his pajamas."
"The same is true about how families act towards the patients' symptoms. Families can mess in their pajamas too, for example, by over (or under) reacting to stress and emotions, making decisions too quickly, not getting enough rest, not telling the truth, and enabling. Everyone needs to be potty trained. If you want to be the family you want to be, then you have to stop being the family you are."
"Now, go around and ill in the blank to this statement, 'When I decide to learn _________________ my relationships will improve'."
* The Villages is a copyrighted proprietary program created by John and Pat O'Neal of Creative Assistance International in Austin, Texas.
