Oklahoma Staff Helps at
Oklahoma City Bombing
At approximately 9:45 AM on April 19, 1995, Jean Arington, secretary at the Marie Ditty Youth & Family Services stuck her head in the door of Dr. Larry Clayton's office. "Your wife's on line 3," she said.
Dr. Clayton picked up the phone and said, "Hi," Cathy said, "First I want you to know that I'm Okay."
"You wrecked the van?"
"No, baby, they blew up the Federal Building!"
"What do you mean; they blew up the Federal building?"
(Cathy Clayton is an art therapist with Community Counseling at 10th and Hudson - - - just six blocks from the Alfred Murrah Building. Although the windows and ceiling tile were blown out of her office she escaped injury because she was in the hall at the time.)
For the next hour, the Marie Detty Youth & Family Services staff tried desperately to understand the magnitude of what had happened. Then, at 10:30, another call came. When Dr. Clayton answered, a voice said, "Can you bring your counselors? This is bigger than anything we've ever seen. We need all the help we can get."
At 12:30, the staff was headed for Oklahoma City in a van and Dr. Clayton's 1968 Catalina.
They arrived at Red Cross Headquarters around 3:30 and succeeded in getting registered by 4:00. At 5:00, they were told that they would not be needed that day, so they got back in the vehicles and started to leave. Dr. Clayton, whose family lives in Piedmont near Oklahoma City, decided to spend the afternoon and evening with them. Hoping to beat rush hour, he got his car and left.
At that moment, a Red Cross official approached the van and said that counselors were needed at the bomb site to help debrief rescue workers as they changed shifts. Three Marie Ditty Youth & Family Services counselors, Mary Vandagriff, Joelle Jolly, and Allen Simms responded.
An hour later, they were in the bombed-out rectory of St. John's Catholic Church, directly across the street from what was left of the federal building.
Hollow-eyed rescue workers filed by. A thought ran through Mary's mind. "We're really here!"
Mary recalled a fire fighter who said he didn't need to debrief. She offered him a cup of coffee and he talked non-stop for an hour and a half! He finished his conversation with tears in his eyes.
Allen remembered the glass imbedded in the wall of the rectory. "It looked like shrapnel," he said. One of the firefighters was a member of his church and had pulled several bodies from the rubble.
They were finally relieved at 2:00 AM, after having worked non-stop for almost 24 hours. At 3:00 AM, they were taken to Howard Johnsons (which had offered free lodging for volunteers). Only then did the counselors realize that they had not eaten and were soaked wet from the rain.
The phone rang at doctor Clayton's house at 4:30 AM. A Red Cross worker said, "We've identified you as the mental health professional who was in charge at the Edmond Post Office Massacre. We need your help. We have established a family information center at St. Paul's Methodist Church. Can you come in?"
"How soon do you need me?"
"How soon can you get here?"
"Give me thirty minutes."
At 5:00 AM, the phone rang in Allen's room. He, Mary and Joelle were needed at the family information center at First Christian Church. With only two hours sleep, they began getting ready for another tough day.
Arriving at Saint Paul's, Dr. Clayton found a huge fellowship hall filled with people. some were family members waiting for word, occasionally praying - - - all desperately hoping that their loved ones would somehow be found alive.
He remembers one young mother whose little girl had been in the day care center, who sat for days holding her child's Teddy Bear.
Another group of people - - - all elderly - - - were residents of the Regency Apartment Building which was too damaged to reoccupy. they were confused and disoriented. Some hadn't eaten or taken required medications.
Then there was the press. "Most of the local people were very considerate. But some of the out-of-state, national and international reporters were downright rude!" recalls Dr. Clayton. "Eventually, I asked them all to wait outside the building."
There were others - - - all the relief workers, Red Cross personnel, volunteers, counselors, nurses, food service people, information specialists, pastors, and the curious. "To me, they looked like sheep with no shepherd," said Dr. Clayton.
As he began the task of shepherding at St. Paul's, Joelle, Mary and Allen were arriving at First Christian Church.
Allen was a "Notifier" - - - it was his job to tell the family the status of loved ones.
Joelle and Mary were on the family team. They were to sit with victims' family to provide supportive counseling while awaiting information.
They were relieved at 5:00 PM, having worked some 70 of the previous 72 hours.
Back at St. Paul's, his shepherding task complete, Dr. Clayton was relieved at 7:00 PM.
The following morning all the staff (except Mary) returned to their regular jobs at Marie Detty Youth and Family Services.
Mary was joined at the family information center by Barbara Daly. While Mary continued to work with individuals families, Barbara was assigned as a "runner." (They notified the families when information comes in about their loved ones. The runner will then find the family and escort them to a private place where a notifier will give them the information.)
Being a runner is a very sensitive position because the family will come to view the runner as a sort of Talisman who has the power to determine the future. This, of course, can be difficult because a caring runner will also be hoping that she will bring good news to the family.
Unfortunately, for the families and for Barbara, it was now Friday and the good news was over. All of Barbara's families were destined to hear that a loved one had been found dead or had been identified in the morgue. So Barbara spent a whole day escorting families to private rooms, then waiting outside, only to hear the inevitable scream, then having to escort them back to gather up their possessions, make phone calls and arrangements.
Barbara was there - - - and what she did counted.
John and Candace Haynes were there, too - - - in a different way. They were among the group who initially went to Oklahoma City. They were sent home because they weren't needed. Therefore, they went back to Marie Detty Youth and Family Services. The two of them held things together while the rest of the staff worked the bombing, a much-needed service! Moreover, they were here to help the staff debrief when they returned.
A final staff involvement happened a week later when Joelle got a call from a young woman she had befriended. Sees she, like Joelle, was engaged, and her young man was listed as missing. The call was to let Joelle know that he had been found. His memorial service was scheduled and she wondered if Joelle could come to be with her. Of course, she went.
168 people were killed, including 19 children in a day care center on the first floor of the building.
(This article was printed in the Youth & Family Today newsletter published quarterly by the Marie Detty Youth and Family Services, Lawton, Oklahoma who was a sponsor of the Third Annual Oklahoma Conference on Multiple Family Group Therapy. Paul Smith is the Executive Director.)